Cancel Your Prime Subscription for Lent
Allow me to suggest something that you may consider insane: it’s time to wean yourself off of Amazon. I’m not going to preach, and I understand we all may be too late, as it’s just everywhere now and society won’t go back. But I think by now we can all agree that using Amazon is getting to be the equivalent of smoking cigarettes or eating fast food: We know it’s bad for us and in some ways morally wrong, but we love the instant gratification and the result. I get it. Dopamine is a hell of a yummy yummy drug.
But here comes Lent, where people give up something they consider a vice: candy, alcohol, etc. Which, fine, if you think the sugar and booze consumption is getting out of hand, give up those things. But if those things feel like they may be a bit too easy this year, consider a real challenge: go without your 2-day shipping (or next day shipping, or whatever insane promises they make). Just for Lent, was it that a month or so? You can reenroll at the end if you still wish.
Maybe this seems silly and you’re thinking, “What would the difference be, Isaac?” Well, think about it. What would the difference be? You can still order things online as much as you want, but now you might have to wait (gasp) a whole week or so before delivery. Is that really the end of the world? And if so, ask yourself why you feel that way. It’s probably not healthy to expect such instant gratification from online shopping. Do you have such high standards on everything else in your life?
And remember, two-day/next-day shipping is only convenient for the buyer. There are hundreds of employees involved, working grueling hours in unsafe factories and driving with vans crammed full of packages to get your crap to your porch in that small time window. It’s really not a nice practice when you think about it. Amazon loves buying out/destroying the competition, refuses to embrace a “room for all” mentality, and that should never be how the world works. The founder is literally playing around in space while the underpaid workers are trying to unionize; Amazon is not your friend or your hero.
I rarely ever buy potato chips for my house. I have a problem with overeating and chips, with their salty flavorful goodness, are a huge problem for me (“You can’t stop at one!” indeed). I occasionally will indulge, sure, but in general I don’t eat chips often because I don’t have them in my home. Now apply that logic to online shopping: would you be spending so much money as often if you didn’t have access to it in your home? You can probably free up a lot of time and money without the ever-tempting call of the big A.
Yes, you may have to leave your home to buy/pickup things in stores. This is a normal human thing to do. In a country that seems determined to return to “great” times, there is not much mention of the “old-fashioned” practice of going to shops yourself, especially locally-owned shops (three guesses why). Go pick something up! Go for a drive! Get someone to watch your kids if it’s an issue, you can make it a little escape. Treat yourself to a little ice cream while you’re out.
How often have you heard someone say, “Look at this crappy shirt I bought on Amazon” or something similar? Now, yes, a good deal is a good deal and times are hard as they have ever been, so I understand trying to save money. Again, I go back to my previous point that you save the most money by not buying crap you don’t actually need, but when it comes time to treat yourself, TREAT yourself. Spend a little more for something unique and, oh my god, if you’re supporting a local business at the same time? Yay! Your dollar goes so much further there than it does to that giant ass company. You should feel good about that! It’s nice to help people!
Don’t even view it as some sort of boycott (or do, if that helps). View it as just simply Trying something new and seeing how it feels. Note any changes in your demeanor, your way of life, your bank account. Do you want to be in a household where you yell at Alexa to turn down the lights? (If you do, fine, but again the alternative is not a hardship.) You don’t have to give up your Ring doorbell if your packages are being stolen. But remember, who made it super easy for packages to pile up on your porch in the first place?
It’s only for Lent, you can get right back on after Easter when you also start drinking again. At the very least you’ll save a month on the subscription. At the most, maybe you can go back to regular Amazon. I still have my account and it’s fine. I used a gift card my uncle got me for Christmas to get some DVDs of movies you can’t always stream (my diatribe on streaming will be later this year). Also, my book can be found there (although I have other options listed for people that want to support local bookstores).
Speaking of local bookstores, and if you do want to think of this as more of a boycott, I highly recommend How to Resist Amazon and Why. Lots of detailed essays with tons of better reasoning for the cause than what I’ve gone over. Fair warning: you’ll hate yourself after you read it! Don’t get me wrong, I think we could sooner blow up Jupiter than shut down Amazon. But as a human race, maybe it’s time to take some small steps away from living under their thumb.
Happy Fish Fry Season!
